The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
