Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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