I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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