Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You made out with two different species that night
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
