I never want to see another naked old woman again.
operation harelip BJ is a go
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
