Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Randomize
