this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
