i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
