ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
