This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
