I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
