I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
