We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
