New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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