I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
