im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
