Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
