Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
