I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
