i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
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