Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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