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The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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