i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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