i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
