either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
