i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
