Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
