My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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