How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
