Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
