Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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