Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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