pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
