i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Randomize
