u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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