grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
