ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
