In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
my liver is dry heaving
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Randomize
