She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
and i looked up. we had an audience...
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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