So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
