New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
