ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
