what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
