i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
