SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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