Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
