i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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