her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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