I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
