Sponge bath it is.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
