I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
only if we run a train.
done.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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