new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
they're like a gay fantastic four
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize
